"Why me, God? Why not someone else's child?"

Yesterday evening I was assigned the job of office person, and Mark was the coordinator for the evening meal. About 5:30 a woman named Desiree came up to Mark and made an unintelligible statement, and then burst into tears. Mark ushered her into the office. We managed to learn that her 5 year old son Matthew had died in a car accident last Friday. The boy's father had been driving under the influence, had not put a seat belt on the boy, and the car had crashed into something, sending Matthew flying through the windshield.
Since the office had people in it waiting to use the phone and get mail, I suggested that I take Desiree upstairs to a more private place. I offered her the use of the chapel, and she asked if I would pray with her. I felt utterly helpless, not knowing what words I could offer that could in any way help her pain. I prayed that God would hold her son for her, and that she would feel peace, knowing Matthew was happy in heaven. She calmed down and added her own prayer, but then wailed out, "Why me, God? Why not some other mother's son?" I told her it was okay to be angry with God, that He did not make this happen, but she might feel like she was being punished in some way. I also told her that God loved her and would help her through this grief. We also spoke of practical things: did she have any friends or family she could stay with, did she have a social worker helping her with the funeral expenses and grief counseling, etc. Desiree went back and forth between violent sobbing, and rational planning. All I could really do was put my arm around her, cry with her, and be present to her. Finally, she said she was ready to leave, and went home. The funeral for her little boy is Friday morning. Please keep Desiree in your prayers.