Christmas Carols, Stuck Keys, and Grace

It began as Thea's idea: many of my best ideas are hers. Yesterday she suggested that I might play Christmas carols for one of our mid-day meals this week. I passed on the idea to Sister Mary who was today's meal coordinator, and Voila, I was set up in the dining room. There was one problem, however. One of the keys on my keyboard --specifically the "E" above middle "C" -- sticks. The problem began a week or so ago and has gotten steadily worse. Now, everytime I play that note, the key stays down.

Despite this problem, I was enthusiastic about playing for our guests. Sunday is our busiest day, and today was rainy, cold, and dreary. I figured that some live seasonal music would lift everyone's mood. With Thea's help, I assembled a list of 30 or so songs -- everything from "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" to "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" -- and began to play. Almost immediately, I ran into serious problems: not only did the "E" above middle "C" stick every time I played the note, but its cousin "E" below middle "C" also was sluggish. It is amazing how often you need these notes, especially for songs in the keys of "C" and "G", two of my favorite keys. Furiously, I transposed every carol that I could into other keys ("F", "D", even "Bflat"), which required me to use the stuck keys as little as possible. When I had to play the "E", I would continue playing but reach up with a spare finger and flick the key up -- a neat trick when you're used to pushing down to play. The results were predictable: my "performance" was bad, and it was really upsetting! Imagine a tune such as "Deck, the (no sound, stuck key) with bows of (blank)-ley, fa- (blank) la, (blank),la,la la, la." Horrible! I was so frustrated, but there was nothing to do but press on for the 90 minute lunch.

Then a funny thing happened. I started focusing on the guests instead of my malfunctioning instrument, and I began noticing positive things. A little old lady, normally quite nasty (we call her the French lady) humming along contentedly...an older African American man tapping his foot...another lady nodding her head to the music. As people left, many of them stopped to say how much they enjoyed the music. One guy, a big burly man, said that he used to sing in a gospel choir and that this really made him feel great. Another guy said "We are so blessed to have you here." But the apex was when an older, short lady, clearly very down on her luck, came up to the keyboard and began singing "Silent Night". Her voice was terrible -- ragged, vocal chords scarred from tobacco and drug use -- but she knew all the verses. People at the neighboring tables joined in, and I realized that stuck key or not, this music was lifting people. I saw, as each of us occasionally does, that God was using me, at that very moment, to brighten the lives of others. His Grace was flowing through my fingers to people who needed it. My eyes welled up, my chest constricted, and I gave thanks that I could, in some small way, be part of God's plan for the St. Frances Inn on this Sunday.

As I reflect on this now (5 PM on Sunday), I wonder how often each of us misses God's Grace in our lives because we are so worried about trying to do tasks to perfection rather than just living for the moment and doing them as we are able. For me this is certainly true. Today I was closer to God when I was not so worried about how I was playing my music and more open to how He was working through the music to further His kingdom.