Recently Father Michael gave a homily on the major sources of grace in our lives. He listed the Eucharist, the love of Jesus we get through our relationships with others, and the Holy Scriptures. At the time, I remember being a little uncomfortable with this. I certainly feel the presence of God in the Eucharist and regularly feel Him talking to me through other people. However, Father Michael suggested that we as Catholics do not read the Bible as much as we ought to, and as I examined my own life, I had to admit that he is right.
I (Mark) have never actually read the Bible cover to cover. Oh sure, I have read sections -- usually during retreats or other "special" times -- and I have read the passages associated with celebrations of the Eucharist. But, I have never sat down over a series of days, weeks, or months and read the Bible in its entirety, and so to begin to rectify this, my Lenten resolution is to read the New Testament during the next 40 days. It is, of course, still early in the process, but I am already pleasantly surprised at some of the insights that the Scriptures are giving me.
The first is how "dense" the 12 apostles were. According to Matthew's Gospel, Jesus performed numerous miracles early in His ministry. Included were the cures of the demonic man, Peter's mother-in-law, the leper, the paralyzed man on the Sabbath, the man with the withered hand, the demonic man in Geresa (the Legion of spirits went into the swine herd which then rushed into the sea and downed), the woman with the hemorrhage, and the raising of Jairius' daughter from the dead, not to mention the feeding of the 5000, the feeding of the 4000, the calming of the winds when the disciples' boat was about to sink and walking on water. And these are just the "special" miracles mentioned. There were many people who were cured by simply touching Jesus' clothes or were healed "en masse" when He made "teaching appearances" before vast crowds. Despite this, we see the apostles asking questions like, "Who is this that even the wind and waves obey him" and "who is the greatest among us?" Mark 25, verses 51 and 52 sum it up: "They were taken aback by these happenings for they had not understood about the loaves. On the contrary, their minds were completely closed of the meaning of the events."
In a similar fashion, Jesus on three separate occasions (Matthew 16: 21 - 22, Matthew 17: 22 - 23, and 20: 17 - 19) specifically tells the apostles that in Jerusalem, He will be handed over to the priests/scribes, condemned, and crucified but that He will rise after three days. On the first occasion, Peter tells Jesus that this surely cannot happen; in the second, the disciples are too afraid to question this; and in the third instance, James and John ask Jesus for a seat at His right and left in the Kingdom. No, the apostles are not exactly quick studies. Even at the crucifixion itself, Peter ("You are rock and upon this rock I will build my church!") bolts along with everyone else and denies Jesus three times. After all that the apostles had seen and done (curing people and casting out demons in Jesus' name), it is almost impossible to believe that they still lacked faith in Him, but this was the case. It took the appearance of Jesus to them after His resurrection to convince them of His divinity.
Another thing that I never realized was how insanely busy Jesus was during His public ministry.
As described in Mark's gospel, Jesus' life was series of public appearances to teach and heal the sick and to spar with the Jewish officials about the true meaning of God's will on Earth. In Mark, chapter 1, Jesus calls His disciples and then begins almost a non-stop "whistle-stop tour" of the area. He cures the demonic and Peter's mother-in-law, and many "from the whole town" of Capernaum, goes to the neighboring villages where he cures many along with the leper. He then returns to Capernaum and cures the paralytic who is lowered through the roof of the house where Jesus is preaching, spars with the Pharisees over the question of fasting and the Sabbath and cures the man with the withered hand and then withdraws to the Sea of Galilee. The crowd is so great that he must stand in the boat to avoid getting crushed as He teaches. He teaches and cures many and then tries to go to a quiet place across the lake. People hear about it and rush to the place whereupon Jesus has to teach them again. Then, He tries to withdraw to another place and once, again, the crowd catches up.
Reading these accounts over the early chapters of Mark's gospel is exhausting. It is simply incredible that so much was asked of Jesus. He, literally, had no time to rest. He was reduced to withdrawing to quiet places in the desert in the middle of the night and early morning before others were awake! Every place the Poor Man went, he was besieged by needy people, or authorities trying to trap him into a mistake.
All of this, I believe, has real lessons for us in our lives. First, it is OK for us to have doubts and to not be perfect in our faith journey. The 12 apostles were with Jesus every day for three years and still didn't get the point. We should be patient with ourselves and, like the disciples, rely on Jesus' mercy to ultimately convert us with His gift of faith. Second, we should serve others where we can but also take time to rest. Every so often, Jesus would withdraw "for a time" to pray and reconnect with the Father. This is a good example for us in our busy lives.
Stay tuned as I work my way through the New Testament. It is truly amazing what's in there!
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