Last week, Thea and I spent two days at the retreat center in Aston, Pa. run by the Allegheny Franciscan Sisters. We stayed in adjoining two-room hermitages which allowed for separate time to pray and reflect but for togetherness at meals and bedtime. As one of our disciplines for the time away, Thea and I each prepared a spiritual activity to share. Mine had to do with seeing God in nature and using the quiet of the surroundings to ask God what He is calling us to do when we return to Hickory. It was a nice activity, but Thea's exercise turned out to be more meaningful for us. Her activity was a series of questions which began with: 1) A year from now, what specific events will I remember from our time at the St. Francis Inn? and 2) How have I changed since I have been at the Inn?
We separated, went to a comfortable spot, and wrote out our answers to the questions. I remember reflecting for a moment on the first question and then beginning to write. Almost immediately I stopped. I realized, with surprise, that I could remember many things ABOUT our experience here at the Inn, but nothing SPECIFIC. I remembered the warm feelings I felt celebrating the Mass at the start of most days. I remembered the general tasks of serving our guests -- everything from washing dishes and cleaning bathrooms to picking up food donations and coordinating meals -- and the feeling of peace that these activities gave to me. However, there was no special events that immediately came to mind. I stated that my time at the Inn had been very "even", not many sharp ups or downs, just a nice, level experience. As I reflected further, I finally did remember one specific experience.
One evening in the fall, there was a horrible fight right outside the Inn. The neighborhood bully, Leon, had severely beaten up "Drunk Danny", an alcoholic that was sleeping on our steps. After I broke up the fight and sent Leon away, Mary Kate (one of our post-college Franciscan Volunteer Ministers) and I took Danny inside and sat him down. He was bleeding heavily from a gash over his eye and from his nose. The fact that he has full blown AIDS complicated the situation. Donning gloves, Mary Kate stopped the bleeding and I called 911. After a while, the ambulance came and took Danny to the hospital where he was released the next morning.
As I continued my reflection, I realized that, while the fight was certainly memorable, it was positively amazing that this was the only specific event that I could recall from over 7 MONTHS (200+ days!) at the St. Francis Inn. Thea's reflection was equally short. She remembered only two specific incidents. The first was consoling a distraught mother whose child had been killed in a car accident caused by her DUI husband. The second was Thea being locked in the Inn's walk-in freezer for 10 minutes, after which she extricated herself. Thea was also surprised that there were so few "highlights" from our time here that she would remember in a year's time.
Next, I turned my attention to the question of how being at the Inn had changed me. Now, the ink flowed. I wrote that I felt much less aggressive and controlling than when I first came to the Inn...much more able to go with the flow of a situation...more balanced. I wrote that I was more concerned with the feelings of others and less likely to fly off the handle if something didn't go according to plan. Overall, I wrote, "I feel calmer than before." Thea wrote that she is now more tolerant and accepting of poor people, people with mental illness, and the homeless. Before coming to the St. Francis Inn, Thea said that she was "mentally tolerant" of the homeless but now, knowing many of them personally, she feels love for them in her heart. Thea also wrote that she is less impatient of others and more open to alternative ways of getting jobs done than she used to be.
After we finished writing, Thea and I discussed our answers. We were both surprised that we didn't remember more specific events from our service and equally surprised that our time at the Inn had resulted in significant changes in our feelings and attitudes toward the world. Then, almost simultaneously, it hit us: the main beneficiaries of our service to the poor have been Thea and Mark! We realized that God has worked through this experience to minister to each of us in very important ways. We have been truly served and changed by our experience with the St. Francis Inn and its clients.
I would like to think that we have also served and been God's instruments to the Inn's guests. Certainly, this has been the case, but it is interesting that when Thea and I reflect on our experiences, it is the changes in each of us that come to mind, and not our service to others.
Last year when we were preparing to come to the Inn, people would ask me why I was doing this year of service. I would reply that Thea and I really wanted to serve God's poor but that (and I am quoting myself exactly now) "we will probably get more out of this experience than the poor will." At the time, I thought that I was being humble. Now, a year later, I truly see the validity of that statement. God works in mysterious ways!
We separated, went to a comfortable spot, and wrote out our answers to the questions. I remember reflecting for a moment on the first question and then beginning to write. Almost immediately I stopped. I realized, with surprise, that I could remember many things ABOUT our experience here at the Inn, but nothing SPECIFIC. I remembered the warm feelings I felt celebrating the Mass at the start of most days. I remembered the general tasks of serving our guests -- everything from washing dishes and cleaning bathrooms to picking up food donations and coordinating meals -- and the feeling of peace that these activities gave to me. However, there was no special events that immediately came to mind. I stated that my time at the Inn had been very "even", not many sharp ups or downs, just a nice, level experience. As I reflected further, I finally did remember one specific experience.
One evening in the fall, there was a horrible fight right outside the Inn. The neighborhood bully, Leon, had severely beaten up "Drunk Danny", an alcoholic that was sleeping on our steps. After I broke up the fight and sent Leon away, Mary Kate (one of our post-college Franciscan Volunteer Ministers) and I took Danny inside and sat him down. He was bleeding heavily from a gash over his eye and from his nose. The fact that he has full blown AIDS complicated the situation. Donning gloves, Mary Kate stopped the bleeding and I called 911. After a while, the ambulance came and took Danny to the hospital where he was released the next morning.
As I continued my reflection, I realized that, while the fight was certainly memorable, it was positively amazing that this was the only specific event that I could recall from over 7 MONTHS (200+ days!) at the St. Francis Inn. Thea's reflection was equally short. She remembered only two specific incidents. The first was consoling a distraught mother whose child had been killed in a car accident caused by her DUI husband. The second was Thea being locked in the Inn's walk-in freezer for 10 minutes, after which she extricated herself. Thea was also surprised that there were so few "highlights" from our time here that she would remember in a year's time.
Next, I turned my attention to the question of how being at the Inn had changed me. Now, the ink flowed. I wrote that I felt much less aggressive and controlling than when I first came to the Inn...much more able to go with the flow of a situation...more balanced. I wrote that I was more concerned with the feelings of others and less likely to fly off the handle if something didn't go according to plan. Overall, I wrote, "I feel calmer than before." Thea wrote that she is now more tolerant and accepting of poor people, people with mental illness, and the homeless. Before coming to the St. Francis Inn, Thea said that she was "mentally tolerant" of the homeless but now, knowing many of them personally, she feels love for them in her heart. Thea also wrote that she is less impatient of others and more open to alternative ways of getting jobs done than she used to be.
After we finished writing, Thea and I discussed our answers. We were both surprised that we didn't remember more specific events from our service and equally surprised that our time at the Inn had resulted in significant changes in our feelings and attitudes toward the world. Then, almost simultaneously, it hit us: the main beneficiaries of our service to the poor have been Thea and Mark! We realized that God has worked through this experience to minister to each of us in very important ways. We have been truly served and changed by our experience with the St. Francis Inn and its clients.
I would like to think that we have also served and been God's instruments to the Inn's guests. Certainly, this has been the case, but it is interesting that when Thea and I reflect on our experiences, it is the changes in each of us that come to mind, and not our service to others.
Last year when we were preparing to come to the Inn, people would ask me why I was doing this year of service. I would reply that Thea and I really wanted to serve God's poor but that (and I am quoting myself exactly now) "we will probably get more out of this experience than the poor will." At the time, I thought that I was being humble. Now, a year later, I truly see the validity of that statement. God works in mysterious ways!
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