Friday, March 19, 2010

To Give or Not to Give?

Last Sunday, after the meal was over, I (Thea) walked to the grocery store for a few items. On my return to our rowhouse, a thirty-something male was standing on the sidewalk. His name was Terrence. He asked where he could find the closest church. I started to tell him, and he interrupted to tell me his story.
On Thursday, he had received word that the mother of his 13 year old daughter had died here in Kensington of an overdose. He had taken the bus from Allentown, PA to Philly. After taking a local bus to the neighborhood, he was unable to enter the house where his wife had died. It was taped off as a crime scene. He went around the corner to get a cup of coffee. He had a bag with his clothes, wallet and personal items. He set it down on the ground. After paying for his coffee, he turned around and the bag was gone. He had no money, no i.d., nothing. He called his mother, who was willing to wire $12 for bus fare, but he had no identification so couldn't pick up the money. A stranger allowed him to spend the night at his house and gave him some food. Saturday he wandered around, looking for help, and spent the night on the street. Now it was Sunday, and someone had told him about the Inn. However, no one was there since the meal had been over for several hours. Could I help him?
Mark and I have a basic policy that we do not give cash to the people here. We were betrayed by guests early in our time here who said they needed a dollar for a token, and later we saw them walking around with alcohol. So we don't carry cash with us so we can say we have no money. However, this man's story seemed truthful. I had Mark come out and talk to him, and we decided to take him to the Greyhound station ourselves and buy the ticket for him. If he was not interested in going to Allentown, we would probably know by the time we got to the station.
We got directions to the station from another team member, and set off for downtown. When we got close to the station, it was a madhouse. The street was one-way, and people were being dropped off, taxis were parked in the street, and there was no parking nearby. I had Mark drop Terrence and me off and we went into the building. Inside it was just as crazy. There was one line for tickets to New York City, and all the other destinations were served by a single agent. I could not find any schedule of departures, nor prices for tickets. The customer service desk was vacant. Someone in the line believed there was a bus going to Allentown at 4:30 for $13.20. I left Terrence in line and went back out to Mark in the car, to tell him that the line was going very slowly. He was illegally parked, and I knew I needed to get back out to him. Between the two of us we came up with exactly $13.20. I went back to Terrence and gave him the money. He gave me a hug and thanked me profusely. We are assuming he got on the bus, went back to Allentown and his daughter.
Did we make a mistake giving Terrence the money? I put myself in his position, and could imagine something like that happening to me--losing my money, credit cards,etc in a strange place and relying on the kindness of a stranger to save me. On the other hand, if this was a con, it was a very good one. I was willing to take the risk of being manipulated rather than omit doing something good.

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