"Why me, God? Why not someone else's child?"

Yesterday evening I was assigned the job of office person, and Mark was the coordinator for the evening meal. About 5:30 a woman named Desiree came up to Mark and made an unintelligible statement, and then burst into tears. Mark ushered her into the office. We managed to learn that her 5 year old son Matthew had died in a car accident last Friday. The boy's father had been driving under the influence, had not put a seat belt on the boy, and the car had crashed into something, sending Matthew flying through the windshield.
Since the office had people in it waiting to use the phone and get mail, I suggested that I take Desiree upstairs to a more private place. I offered her the use of the chapel, and she asked if I would pray with her. I felt utterly helpless, not knowing what words I could offer that could in any way help her pain. I prayed that God would hold her son for her, and that she would feel peace, knowing Matthew was happy in heaven. She calmed down and added her own prayer, but then wailed out, "Why me, God? Why not some other mother's son?" I told her it was okay to be angry with God, that He did not make this happen, but she might feel like she was being punished in some way. I also told her that God loved her and would help her through this grief. We also spoke of practical things: did she have any friends or family she could stay with, did she have a social worker helping her with the funeral expenses and grief counseling, etc. Desiree went back and forth between violent sobbing, and rational planning. All I could really do was put my arm around her, cry with her, and be present to her. Finally, she said she was ready to leave, and went home. The funeral for her little boy is Friday morning. Please keep Desiree in your prayers.

Group Support

Serving a meal at the Inn requires the work of a large number of people. We are blessed with an abundance of local volunteers who come on a weekly or monthly basis and act as servers, bussers, dishwashers and cooks for the meals. In addition, there are groups that come from far away parishes, such as Canton, Massachusetts or New Hampshire on a regular basis, stay for a weekend or more, and help out. We have housing on the block for groups of 8-10 individuals. Last week we had a group arrive from St. Francis of Assisi parish in Raleigh, NC. Mark and I have visited that parish on several occasions and attended a hunger conference there last February, so we had a connection with the group. Several members of the group were engaged in the Just Faith program at the parish; others had seen the announcement in the bulletin and were interested in serving at an inner city soup kitchen for a few days.
It is a positive experience for me when we have a group come for a few days. First of all, it allows others the chance to serve in a way that they might not be able to in a more affluent setting. The enthusiasm of the group rubs off on us and makes us more attuned to the guests and their needs. I was particularly happy to have two women from the group go with me to St. Benedict's Thrift Shop and assist the guests, especially the men, who were in need of coats, shoes and pants. When I am at the shop, I cannot leave the front desk area because I am the only one allowed to handle the money. So often people come in, want something, but will leave saying that there is not anything in their size. By having extra volunteers present, customers were able to find the things they needed in their size. Finally, this group came while the Team was on retreat. The ten people from St.Francis could be used at the meal to help replace the ten Team members who were gone.
The sheets were barely dry, and another group arrived, this time from Bonaventure College in New York. I believe that these groups get much more than they give when they spend time here in Kensington.

The Most Unwanted Guests

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 20 to 25% of the homeless population in the United States suffers from some form of severe mental illness. In comparison, only 6% of Americans are severely mentally ill (National Institute of Mental Health, 2009). In a 2008 survey performed by the U.S. Conference of Mayors, 25 cities were asked for the three largest causes of homelessness in their communities. Mental illness was the third largest cause of homelessness for single adults (mentioned by 48% of cities). For homeless families, mental illness was mentioned by 12% of cities as one of the top 3 causes of homelessness.

Here at St. Francis Inn, there are guests who are mentally ill. Some of these come daily to our meals, get toiletries, clothing vouchers and are shown respect and kindness. Some function well enough with medication that they can pay bills, have housing and lead fairly normal lives. Others are so ill that they are disruptive in their behaviors, end up in jails (where there are high populations of the mentally ill), or are easy victims for more lawless individuals.

Our first encounter with such a guest was "Jaime." "Jaime" stands on the street corner a good part of the day and reads loudly from the Bible. As he reads, he also reads out the name of the punctuation in the sentence, such as "Let there be light period." Other guests were disturbed by his reading during the meals, so he has been asked to come by at meal time and get a dinner "to go." He often attends daily Mass, and will comment on the homily. He is a veteran, has been institutionalized and often makes comments that seem much saner than many of the people who are "in charge" in this country.
Another guest is "Deacon." One of the first days that I was working at the Inn, the doorbell rang and a very nicely dressed man asked timidly if we had a pen and paper he could have. I knew there were school supplies being collected upstairs, but I felt I needed to ask the coordinator if I were allowed to take something. Sister Mary said that "Deacon" was ill, and thought he was writing a book. He sits on the corner and writes all day long in his notebook. When one looks at what he has written, it is gibberish. Once he fills up a notebook, he starts with a new one. "Deacon" is under a doctor's care, and we keep a pill counter with his weekly pills in our kitchen. When he comes for his meal, we also give him his daily allotment of pills.
"Bettie" is another guest who is tormented by inner demons. She is a beautiful, tall, willowy woman, who could pass for a runway model. However, she is continually walking about, talking out loud to the voices she hears in her head. She sometimes asks to use the phone, will dial a number, quickly leave a message, then hang up. She has family somewhere, but doesn't seem to want to stay with them. She appears very vulnerable and when she disappears for a few days, I worry that some harm has befallen her.
Because these people are not a threat to themselves or others, they are not institutionalized unless they wish to be. They could benefit from counseling and medication, but lack of transportation, funding and mental health workers or concerned family members/friends keep them from getting the services they need. We can only be a stopgap, taking care of their most basic physical needs like food and clothing. These people are the truly marginalized in our society, through no fault of their own, and deserve the same help we would extend to a person ill from cancer or diabetes.

The Museum in Heaven -- what would you put on exhibit?

Yesterday at Mass, Fr. Michael gave a homily on the Widow's Mite gospel. He made the usual points about giving out of our want rather than just from our excess, etc. and then moved on to what I found to be a fascinating "sidebar". He said that if there were a "Museum in Heaven", he was certain that the Widow's mite would be one of the exhibits -- because these three coins represented what Jesus wants our attitude to be about material possessions. Fr. Michael also thought that the alabaster jar of aromatic oil that the women broke to anoint Jesus' feet and the glass used by the righteous to give water to Jesus "When I was thirsty" would also be key exhibits. Obviously, as a former museum director, I found this whole line of thought compelling, and I began reflecting on what I would include in this heavenly exhibition if I were the Curator. What would I think were the essential objects needed to tell the story of Christ's life on earth?

The centerpiece of my Museum in Heaven would certainly be a piece of the Calvary cross, the physical place where Jesus sacrified His life for our salvation. I would also include one of the linens that was left behind in the tomb -- perhaps the head cloth would be best, to represent His resurrection, the key experience of hope for all Christians. To represent the miracles, I would probably choose one of the large jugs that Jesus used to change water into wine at Cana, and a facsimile of the drawing that Jesus traced in the dirt in front of the woman caught in adultery.
From Christ's early life, there would be the manger from his birthplace, some tools from Joseph's carpenter's shop, and perhaps a piece of bright cloth from the caravan that Jesus left when he returned to the temple to begin learning about his Father's business, to the distress of his poor parents who didn't know where he went.
To represent the apostles, I would exhibit one of the fishing nets that Peter and his partners left when they first were recruited by Jesus, and the pouch containing the 30 silver pieces that Judas used to betray Jesus. For His battles with the Pharises, I would include the scroll that Jesus read from when he spoke in the temple for the first time and declared: "Today this reading (the coming of the Messiah) is fulfilled in your presence", and some of the wheat which His desciples threshed by hand on Sabbath, in violation of the strict Jewish law. And finally, I would include a copy of that Jewish Law itself, all 600+ tenets and juxtapose this to Jesus' law of the two great commandments to love God and love your neighbor.

As I read this list, I am struck by how small this exhibition would be! Jesus didn't leave behind many physical traces, or is my list here too limited? What you YOU include in the "Museum in Heaven's" artifact list?

Visit to Amish Country

We were short-staffed for 4 days this week while some of the full-time workers were on retreat. So Mark had to do pick-ups for 3 of 4 days, and Thea had to be the assistant cook for 2 days. Both cooks made soup, so Thea's job entailed chopping endless numbers of potatoes, onions and peppers one day and snapping green beans for 2 hours on another. It was with real relief that we had today free. Thea's former student, Brenda Sallee, is working in Reading, and suggested we contact her and she would take us around Lancaster County. There are about 37,000 Old Order Amish (drive horse and buggy), other Amish (drive cars ) and Old Order Mennonites (no cars) that live in the county. We went to a hand-twisted pretzel factory, a quilt museum, and drove down the small 1 lane roads through the orderly farms of the Amish and Mennonites. We saw a man drive with his daughter in a buggy to Walmart, where they have buggy parking for the Amish. We also were amused by watching a carriage go through the "drive-through window" of a bank. The weather was sunny and about 50 degrees, so it was a perfect day for a ride in the country. We enjoyed a lunch at a country restaurant, served family style. We sampled homemade sausages, ham loaf, potato stuffing and shoo-fly pie. It was only a little over an hour from our home to Lancaster County, yet we felt like we were in another era.

Philadelphia Strikes Out

This posting is not about baseball, although the Phillys did lose to the NY Yankees in the 6th game of the World Series. The strike I am referring to is the SEPTA strike; these are the workers that keep the buses, trollies and subway/el train running. The strike began in the middle of the night Monday after the baseball game ended. Commuters coming in on the light rail were shocked to reach the subway and find it was not running. There are 35,000 public school children who use public transportation to get to school, and thousands more who attend private/parochial schools who walked, biked, skateboarded or found a car ride to school.
Apparently when the new contracts are negotiated every 4 years, terms are not met and the strike occurs. The length has varied from just a few days to 100 days. So how is the SEPTA strike affecting St. Francis Inn? One of the most obvious is the low numbers of senior citizens who are coming to eat. We had less than 50 seniors last night, compared to our usual 100. Since seniors can ride the buses for free, many of our guests who live more than a mile away depend on the buses to get them to the Inn. Likewise, we have had several of our most dependable daytime volunteers call in and say they could not come and help. The last two days there have been only 2 or 3 of us who have prepared the food, taking most of the 6 hours we have available before mealtime. The roads are in gridlock, because commuters are being forced to drive to work rather than take mass transit. As a result, pickups of the bread and baked goods are taking longer.
The strike has brought out the worst in people.There are all sorts of stories of road rage, motorists and cyclists battling out space, and people getting up at 3 am to make the commute. There are stories of kindness,too. A man told me this morning he was driving home yesterday and saw some elderly people standing on the street corner. He thought maybe they didn't know about the strike. So he rolled his window down and asked them if they knew the buses weren't running. They replied they were waiting for a cab as they had to go to the hospital. It turned out that the hospital was close to his home, and he ended up driving the couple to their destination.
We hope that a just mediation of the contract will occur very soon.

The Ties That Bind

When Mark and I first discussed giving a year of service after retirement, we considered going outside the U.S., perhaps with the Peace Corps or Franciscan Mission Service. Our younger daughter, who had recently produced our first grandchild, was appalled. How could we go off for one or two years, missing out on all the landmark events of a young child? For that reason and various others, we amended our search to locations east of the Mississippi.
In the past 3 weeks, we have been thankful we did. First, our second grandchild arrived, two weeks early, and I was able to go down to Athens, Ga and assist our daughter Andrea with little Katie. Right before I was to leave, our daughter Angela called, quite distraught, because her son Cade had H1N1 flu, and she had been unable to get the vaccine. Since she is pregnant, this was a matter of concern. Mark was prepared to get in the car and drive 8 hours to Raleigh to take care of the boy. However, the other grandparents generously drove from Hickory to get him and kept him the remainder of the week. Thankfully, Angela did not have any symptoms of the flu.
It is all well and good for us to care for the people of Philadelphia, but our first priority has to be to our family. Several of the people who are long time volunteers at the Inn have taken leave of absence to care for ill parents or other relatives. I can understand better the sacrifice priests, religious and lay missioners make when they go far away from home and family for several years at a time. Likewise, those members of the armed forces who are serving overseas are making a great sacrifice. Our nephew Will is currently serving in Iraq, and was unable to attend his brother's wedding last Friday. He called from Iraq and was able to speak to many family members. We were happy to hear his voice, but will be happier when he returns to us safe and sound.